I'm writing from my office in my place of employment, a public high school. My title is ISGI, which means Individual and Small Group Instructor. What that means is that I am a tutor with a teaching license. They pay me as if I were a teacher, but I actually do much less. And that isn't as good as it sounds. I miss doing lesson plans and grading papers and being in front of the classroom and teaching students. Everyday, I wait for my scheduled seniors (I only tutor seniors) to come in and I tutor them. If they come in at all (they frequently skip) and if they have work to do and if they need help, then I work. At all other points of the day, I am talking to the students I know from football who stop by unannounced, or I'm trying to look as though I am working. For example, now.

I feel idle, misused, and unsatisfied.

I have no friends in the area because they all moved away. I live with my brother and his two friends. I miss female friends, I miss having a gang. I miss Tom most of all, but it would be easier to deal with if I could socialize with young adults older than 18 who were not my brothers' friends. I miss Sunny and Kim.