To balance the last post, some things I love:

Animals - watching them, interacting with them, learning about them

My family. I realize how cliche that sounds. My family is different, though. I love to be a part of it. We have character and color. We have quirks.

Drinking coffee because it reminds me of my mom. Drinking tea because it reminds me of my dad and my culture.

Autumn. Because it's beautiful in Ohio, and it's football season, and Halloween is my favorite holiday.

I love to smell flowers and have candles burning. I love to eat pie and walk in forests and lounge. I love when I realize something is no big deal. I love my boyfriend for all the right reasons. I love to read. I love the friendships that I have, the ones that have lasted.

Some things that I really hate:

people smoking around me
people who have kids that shouldn't have kids
people who waste money on shitty tattoos and cigarettes when they can't afford to feed their kids
people who drive an SUV to compensate for their insecurities
country music, but not just country music
people who listen to country music AND think it's awesome AND go to the concerts AND think the concerts are awesome.

I should do a whole post on each of these. Elaboration is necessary.

A positive note - I've been having the best sleep of my life. I go to bed at 9, I wake up at 5:45... and I sleep soundly, the whole night. For someone who has had so many problems with sleep - it has been glorious.

I'm writing from my office in my place of employment, a public high school. My title is ISGI, which means Individual and Small Group Instructor. What that means is that I am a tutor with a teaching license. They pay me as if I were a teacher, but I actually do much less. And that isn't as good as it sounds. I miss doing lesson plans and grading papers and being in front of the classroom and teaching students. Everyday, I wait for my scheduled seniors (I only tutor seniors) to come in and I tutor them. If they come in at all (they frequently skip) and if they have work to do and if they need help, then I work. At all other points of the day, I am talking to the students I know from football who stop by unannounced, or I'm trying to look as though I am working. For example, now.

I feel idle, misused, and unsatisfied.

I have no friends in the area because they all moved away. I live with my brother and his two friends. I miss female friends, I miss having a gang. I miss Tom most of all, but it would be easier to deal with if I could socialize with young adults older than 18 who were not my brothers' friends. I miss Sunny and Kim.

"An intellectual is a person who has discovered something more interesting than sex." -Aldous Huxley

I bartend at Mango's. I'm here now, getting internet from the hotel that's attached to this mall. What a rundown shithole this place is. There will probably be less than 5 people who come in tonight. I'll close at 11.

I love this laptop.

The last week I've been spending time with my manfriend, Tom, while he's home visiting from Virginia. He's a college football coach and getting his master's paid for, so the distance now is just a bump in the road. It really isn't bad with email and cell phones. Of course saying all that to people and writing it in my blog is much easier than accepting it in my head.

This is my new blog. For no reason except I got a new laptop and will be spending way more time online. I'm excited about this.

There probably won't be much distinction between my blog and other blogs, but I don't care. There are much better writers out there, more interesting people. I'm just wasting time.

I'm sitting in the living room in the house my mom owns that I don't pay rent for watching Cops and typing on a laptop I shouldn't have bought because I need to start paying back college loans. It's Wednesday and I have nothing substantial to do until tomorrow morning when I stop by football camp to meet my new students for the season.

Football season should be interesting this year with five new student trainers, a new coach, and a new home field. That all starts in about a week. So until then, I feel idle. And I hate that. I worked hard in college yet can't support myself now. I'm looking forward to being an adult. Until then, I'm going to sit in the sun and read.