Buzzkillers

In the mornings that I don't go into the school until 1, I like to have a cup of coffee slow and sit on the front porch and watch the birds, squirrels, and hood cats. I try not to worry about my friends and family, my students, my athletes, my future, my country, the war, and the planet. I just want to get a slow buzz and feel content. It never happens, though. I let myself start fretting the "what ifs" and have to fight for the peace that starts off every morning. I explain to my students that the stress they feel before a big test or game is positive. It's called "eustress" or good stress. Eustress helps you perform at the best of your abilities. I just want coffee and no stress.

My football team is 5-0, and we play our big rival on Friday. The atmosphere in the school right now is electric. I really do love what I do.

In other news, I had a dream my braces made my teeth fall out. I read somewhere that falling and having your teeth fall out are two of the most-reported dreams... and both can be interpreted to uncover insecurities in one's self-consciousness. Maybe I'm insecure about my braces?

p.s. People are happening upon this site because they search for dog photos and my blog shows up in google images. Interesting?
This is a Briard. One comes to meet me at football practice sometimes. One of the players' dads brings him to watch his son practice. Or maybe it's because the trainer always plays with him and tells him how beautiful he is and what a good boy he is.

My new job goes like this. In the fall, I take care of two football teams, two soccer teams, a volleyball team, a cross-country team, and a pack of cheerleaders. I teach two classes. I organize a faculty weight loss challenge, and head up various other wellness initiatives in the school district. I am very happy, and finally satisfied with what I do for a living.

I am still struggling with missing my manfriend, my best friends, my family, and my dog... but everything could always be so much worse. And I have hopes that soon everything will be so much better.

Braces are awesome.

This is me before braces.
This is the reason why I needed braces again.

I didn't wear my retainer when I had them in 7th and 8th grade. I learned my lesson.

Blue turbos prop my bite open, which makes it very difficult to chew.

I am getting braces in one week for one year. And other things are happening, too.

Staying for another year. And as of 8:50pm on Friday June 20th, I feel good about it.

I am not a cold person.

I believe children should have comprehensive sexuality education beginning in Kindergarten.
I believe that the government should provide free birth control to women.
I believe that people should have to obtain a license to have a child. A license includes an application, proof of employment, parenting classes, a written test, and a medical exam. Parents of a baby born without a license may obtain a license at an additional fee or can give their child up for adoption.
I believe that abortions should be legal and free. It costs the tax-payers more to raise an unwanted child than to abort a pregnancy.
With that being said, a child is not a child until it is deemed viable by a physician. Until then, it is a mass of tissue, much like a tumor.

Just some things that I know will never happen, but I think should because of overpopulation, the environment, the economy, poverty, crime, violence, and other various reasons that have been pissing me off lately.

11 Awesome and Suck

11 things I'm really awesome at:

naming song artist and titles
coloring
knowing what words to use in google to find exactly what I'm looking for
spotting animals
stretching people out
handwriting
avoiding conflicts
acquiring stuff
editing papers
predicting the future (my mother, grandmother, and aunt are witches)
reading aloud


11 things I really suck at:

driving
dancing
corresponding
expressing false emotion
throwing things away
staying up late
flying in airplanes
anything athletic
making new friends
keeping things tidy
blogging

Sector 7

Warning. You are about to enter a Major Decision Zone. Enter at your own risk.

Top 5 Favorite Dog Breeds

I love dogs. And I mean, really love them. I drive past a dog park everyday on my way home from school, and I nearly wreck because I turn my head to watch for so long. When I come in contact with a dog, all my senses light up. I love all dogs, and naturally, I love my dog (Frank) the best.

Frank (and Joey)!
Louie!
My classroom, pictures of dogs all over the walls.

But now I present my top 5 breeds, and I have a secret desire to rescue and love at least one of each of these animals in my lifetime.

#5 - The Old English Sheepdog


I love the Old English Sheepdog because of his beautiful coat and floppy personality. And he's English.

#4 - The Saint Bernard


My dad had a St. Bernard when he was growing up named Olly. And for a short time in college my favorite fraternity had a St. Bernard named Dozer who I loved with my whole heart. Here we are!
#3 - The Newfoundland
The Newfoundland reminds me of a gentle black bear. They're big and beautiful and love the water.
#2 - Great Dane

I love the Great Dane because of their size and beauty. They're such a presence, yet so gentle and unaware of their massive size.
#1 - The German Shepherd

The most intelligent, the most loyal, the hardest working, the most beautiful.

Awesome video of a German Shepherd

This post is dedicated to the best dog there ever was, Penny. I miss you, girl.

Can you see my tampon string?

I'm eating cajun trail mix and one of my students is lying on the floor taking an economics test. He prefers to work on the floor, but I'll take it. He's working. This job has given me much insight into learning styles and learning abilities. At my high school, we competed for grades. We were all on track for college. There were no kids with special needs. As far as we knew. No special services were offered, I'll put it that way. I can think of a couple kids who really would have thrived with some individualized instruction. And I can think of a couple kids who may have not turned out to be such assholes if they went to school with a diverse group of learners, and not just all of us middle-class white kids whose parents really cared. I got an excellent education out of thirteen years at Catholic school, but I really missed out on diversity and tolerance. And I really wish I hadn't been indoctrinated.

Taking a break from writing progress reports home to parents. Most of them aren't going to be happy.

I'm also taking a break from uploading resumes and tweaking cover letters and clicking boxes online asking about my criminal background. This process is already stressing me out and it's just the beginning. There is a hesitation to start someplace new and to leave somewhere that just became not-new.

I-don't-knows and what-ifs everywhere.

There is a Career Tech - Health Science position open in Kingsport, Tennessee. That would be the ideal job for me right now. I applied online today and will try to get my resume sent to them tomorrow. It's what I would be teaching here in Canton if they had money to hire new teachers. If they didn't have to drop six teachers at the end of this year.

I'll go if there's a job. I'll go if there's a green light.

I'm watching a documentary on snakes in Tom's apartment in Glade Spring, Virginia. It's the tail-end of my Spring Break and he's at football practice. I've had a lovely time here, much more social interaction from peers than I usually get. Only seeing Tom at night when he gets back late from work is realistic. Me waiting all day for him with nothing to do is not. I've been sleeping in and reading Jane Goodall's In the Shadow of Man. She's awesome.

I was very sick two days ago with a 24 hour stomach bug. I love when bodily fluid tries to exit two orifices at once. It reminded me of when I was 5 or 6 and had to use one of my baby brother's diapers so I wouldn't make a mess while I was barfing. Luckily, none of Tom's roommates were home to witness the massacre.

I am applying to several school districts in this area in Virginia and two in nearby Tennessee. I have been unsatisfied with the teaching part of my job in Ohio, and when our levy failed again, I lost hope for getting a job in that school district teaching what I studied to teach. Our education system in Ohio must be fixed soon, it's so utterly frustrating. Children are losing and good teachers are moving elsewhere.

The whole process is overwhelming and there are many "I don't knows." What I do know is that I'm not happy with my job or my social situation and I'm ready to move on and up and be an adult. I wanted to go to Boston for grad school. That was my plan. It's amusing to imagine myself teaching on the Virginia-Tennessee border. Love can make you do crazy things. Tom has been extremely supportive, and careful to ensure that this is what I really want to do. Of course this isn't my ideal, and I'm sure this location isn't Tom's ideal, either. However, what I'm doing now isn't working. I owe it to myself to try something new.